Today the mist filled the valley. It was thickest in the evening, which is unusual for around here.
As I gazed through our wooden shutters at the mesmerising fog I mostly sat in a puddle of my own self-pity. Entirely self-created.
Some days are like this. I'm lethargic, like a bumble bee that's about to die. I'm irritable toward my family, but they've done nothing wrong.
I could blame the ADHD, but that's just an excuse I use to avoid solving my problems.
To truly cope, and hopefully thrive, with ADHD you have to put yourself on the hook. Don't cop out like I did today.
To be on the hook means to be responsible for everything. It means that when you decide to write a book, you write the damn book. Don't forget that it's hard for everyone, not just you.
On the hook means to commit with your whole self, for a period of time, before earning the right to rest.
I've missed multiple opportunities to make changes in my life, mostly through the fear of 'what if this doesn't work'. I now realise that today's gloominess was due to a resurgence of that fear.
But I will not let it hinder this opportunity - which feels like it could be my last.
I'm officially on the hook.
Will you join me?